Opnions and Ramblings · Poetry

In My Mind & New Poem

Hello. I’m sorry I haven’t been as active as I should have been. It’s not that I lack inspiration, it’s that I lack motivation.

Anyway, today I want to talk about everything in my mind. I just need to empty everything out, we all do after a while.

In my Mind:

  1. I have a lot of work to do. I’ve been doing it all day but I still feel unsatisfied by it. I just don’t care all that much, but then I realize  I do.
  2. I’ve just eaten some Chocolate Orange mini explosion things, they were great.
  3. I hate this post.
  4. I’m tired all the time, but I don’t have time to sleep.
  5. Not everything is bad. I am not that bad. Maybe Depression hasn’t come back. Maybe I’m exaggerating the truth. I won’t get into a negative mindset. Sadness is a normal emotion.
  6. I really want some more chocolate but I should probably stop eating so much.
  7. My eyeliner looks great today.
  8. I ate more chocolate.
  9. I need to finish NOODLE PANDA.
  10. Does anyone care about Noodle Panda?
  11. Does anyone care about my blog?
  12. Wait thought number 11 was a) selfish b) Irrelevant.
  13. I need to sort out my morals.
  14. I need to do more  award posts.
  15. I really want to travel, how amazing would that be?
  16. Anxiety isn’t as bad as it used to be.
  17. Oh boy it used to be bad.
  18. Everything is good.
  19. Everything is bad.
  20. This feels poetic, I hate that.
  21. I wonder if anyone noticed the absence of the Internet Café. I’m sorry, I just didn’t feel upbeat enough.
  22. How many people are reading this?
  23. I wonder what they are all doing as they read this?
  24. Are they sad?
  25. Happy?
  26. Young?
  27. In love?
  28. Do they have a cat?
  29. I’m not going to edit this. You can’t edit thoughts.
  30. Thirty is a good number, I’ll leave it here although I haven’t thought of much.

Well that was, interesting? No, okay. As promised in the title I also have a poem, just hidden at the end because it’s not that good. Just like my thoughts, it is unedited and I wrote it in about five minutes. I hope you like it, feedback is always appreciated.

Thoughts on water
By Alexandra Harrison

I don’t like the water
The way it moves
And flows
Like a lonely stream
And joins into things much bigger
Things it doesn’t know
And this makes me sad
And I’m not sure why

I’m not sure why I leave the light on
In the bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen
But never in the hallway
I’m not sure why they talk to me so often
I’m not sure why they want to
When I can’t think of any replies
Anything interesting
Or anything anyone wants to hear

The water moves in such a way
It makes me cold
And guilty
And saddened by everything I see
The mountains
The hills
The houses
And the trees
All swaying softly to a melancholy breeze

Why is everything moving?
Can it be changed that easily?

It makes me feel bad
So beautiful and pure
Makes blood stay
Like sticky pearls
To the bathroom door
Insecure
Feelings of despair
And loneliness
And empty nothings
It fills me up
And drags me down
I’m drowning!
I’m drowning!
Please help me!
I’m going to die
And I am peaceful with it
But a little frightened
Although this is usual for me
Do we all think like this?
I hope not.

Thank you so much for reading,

Alex

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28 thoughts on “In My Mind & New Poem

  1. Yeah! I love your blog! Negative stuff and depression is like a swimming pool, all you have to do is push yourself out of it! You can do it! I found it hard to write last night and was motivated in no way whatsoever! Hope you feel better soon! Don’t worry about feeling forced to blog, we all love reading your posts and I won’t unfollow you if you don’t post for a while!
    Luv
    GeorgieGrl
    Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That poem was amazing and you ARE amazing, I wish you could see that. Don’t apologise for not being active and things, you need to take time for you and when you do, you’ll come back happier. And we love seeing the happy Alex 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello Alex! Well I don’t like to go around saying this but I’ve been diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder too, my story is a very long one and it has no beginning nor an ending. But if there’s anything that I want to tell you (and I’m sure you already know it) is that you should go on fighting it off and trying as much as you can not to let it control your life. There’ll be days when all is shit and it feels like things have become so bad and everything is coming back and you’re so helpless and confused about how could it all possibly hit this hard and this fast, but it is what it is. Having issues of my own and knowing how it all feels like, I’m not going to sugarcoat it or anything, I’m simply going to tell you to not to fall and let it crush you. As long as you’re going on, you’re safe. (I hope I made some sense.) Hoping that you’re well and as you know, takes me a while to get to some blog posts so feel free to email me or connect with me on Twitter. Lots of love. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this, you made total sense and I don’t even know what to say, because all your points are so wonderful and true. I’m sorry you suffer with anxiety, it is a horrible thing and I never mention it to anyone, apart from my Mum, Dad etc who were there when I was going through my most difficult time. But I’m out of that now and I realize everyday how much better I am. Thank you so much again, people like you really help me. Lots of Love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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