Accio my week! Read my strange philosophical thoughts, my huge failures and small achievements. Also comment if you got the reference at the beginning! Enjoy!
Tuesday: I will never force myself to write in this, but I will try to motivate myself. I love writing here, I just never seem to have the time. Yesterday the hero which is David Bowie sadly passed away, I’m not sure I feel like talking about it right now. I’ve said what I needed to say about his death and now I want to live with his music and art, which will always be alive.
You can read my post about David here.
A theme is developing with my least favourite day being Tuesday. But today wasn’t that bad. A stab in the heart came when Mona and my other drama friend were talking about how they would love to go in a pair on their own in drama, right in front of me. I felt like saying ‘what about me?’
The best part of the day was probably going into the dark room in photography. In my after school photography class there is only me and my friend (let’s call her Annie) and it was seriously so fun just developing our photos by ourselves. It’s something I’ve never done before, but it was a great experience.
There’s lots I want to talk about, I feel like rambling about the importance of fashion, school and my novella (which I have almost finished what the hell okay) but I’m feeling suddenly anxious and deep down I want to go to sleep and that is all. I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure I’ll talk about these things another time. I love you all, happy Tuesday to me and happy Sunday to you.
Wednesday: Today is a good day. Not everything is good but a lot is good. Shadowhunters came out, lessons were okay I guess BUT I FINISHED MY NOVEL OKAY!!!! I’m not excited though, it’s a strange feeling. It’s not really finished I am already planning on ways to change the story you are currently reading on my blog (read here) but I have actually finished a novel, or novella really. That’s such a huge achievement and I can walk around school tomorrow like who needs Physics? I just finished my novel last night.
I am excited about the possibilities of Noodle Panda, that I am thinking of changing the title to The Great Noodle Expedition. Lots of editing needed, lots more needs to be added, better character development, a less rambly ending but it’s done! The first draft is done and that’s just sinking in. Oh my, my brain hurts from thinking so much. I need a long rest and a publishing deal. See you tomorrow!
Thursday: I started editing my novella today (I’ve decided to make it unnamed until I think of a decent title) One of my goals is to make my characters more defined, so I made a list of Lenny, Dan and Kate’s characteristics and they tried to integrate them more into my writing. Today I only went over Chapter 1. I reworked the dialogue a little, because I felt that Dan and Lenny were like the same person sometimes. I’ve thought about Lenny as a person and changed some of the things he said and the way he reacted to things. I’ve added more detail too, so things don’t just happen all of a sudden and gone over some sentences to make sure they flow better. I’m happy with my work and think I’ve made some worthwhile improvements. It sort of hurts me knowing I’m not giving you guys the best I can do, as you are receiving the unedited Noodle Panda, which I have chosen not to change on my blog as it will make things more confusing. I just like to put things on Happy Alex that I am really proud of and even though I am proud of Noodle Panda I know it can be better?
Also I’m hopefully launching a brand new project tomorrow, I’m extremely excited but also very nervous because I’m worried no one will take part in it.
In other fun news, today, in an attempt to photograph the sky I stabbed my foot on my cactus and THE SPIKE GOT STUCK INSIDE MY FOOT. And it made me come up in a rash and I felt like I had been impaled. It stole my chocolate wrapper in its spikes too. I thought we were friends.
Also snow was a thing! It melted in the afternoon but we’ve just had another load! I don’t think school will be closed, but it sure looks pretty.
Today’s had a lot going on wow…
And lastly I would just like to mention the tragic death of Alan Rickman. A mention doesn’t really feel like the best way to credit someone’s entire life but I’m just so shocked. Many of you will know him for playing Severus Snape in Harry Potter; I am obsessed with the books and movies, but his death isn’t about Harry Potter at all. Cancer has taken two of the most inspirational idols my country has this week and it has killed so many more, although I don’t know their names. I’d just like to say again, how sad I am to hear that Alan was suffering. He was a truly inspirational and talented man, he will be missed.
Friday: Merry Friday. I’m so tired, why am I not sleeping jeez. It snowed again today, but none of it stuck 😦 I’M SO WORRIED MY UPDATES ARE BORING, SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT WHAT’S ON MY MIND WE TOTALLY SHOULD LET’S GO KIDS!
- Am I stretching my brain enough? I haven’t read properly in like a week. I can’t believe this. I can’t write a novel and not read books the two don’t work. I need to read, but I’m just not motivated enough and I don’t want to force myself to do anything help??? I know creative writing and watching films are both creative things, but reading mentally pushes me. I’m terrified of being stupid what can I say.
- Really not happy about my uploads of Noodle Panda (or whatever it’s going to be called) now I’m editing I know all the faults and I know that I could have done so much better and it really bothers me how my audience is judging me on an ultimately crappy book.
- Half of me is like yeah novel writing is going great! And the other half of me starts to read something like Inspector Calls in English and realizes my tiny novel is terrible in comparison and wonders why I’m even trying.
- I want to have money? I need clothes? Also really in need of a concealer, because my current one has almost ran out. I know this is very ‘first world problems’ but I will be totally honest and say I want things, but I don’t have money to buy any of them and I can’t just ask my parents for money everytime I need something. Craving a little financial independance.
- Currently questioning what I’m actually doing with my life. Like I’ve had TWO SIGNIFICANT DAYS in the entire of January. And I’ve only had one day where I’ve actually left my house and saw people (not counting school). I just can’t go anywhere, craving a lot of independence. Like I just want to do my own thing, I really want to travel and just do something that matters. But then I think everything I do matters? Like just because you haven’t done anything huge doesn’t mean that thing wasn’t important to the evolution of your character? All these thoughts are important to the development of my being. But then I think what am I developing for? I know it’s cheesy, but ‘what am I waiting for?’ Life doesn’t start when you get your driver’s licence and finish university, sometimes I feel my wasteful days are wasteful and sometimes I think they are important.
OKAY OKAY. Some BIG THOUGHTS that made no sense, I should probably calm down. Anyway sort of needed to empty my brain. Gold star if you are actually reading this, you are an amazing, easily engaged human being.
Sunday: Didn’t write yesterday, very sorry about that and also, if you’re still reading at this point then 5 GOLD STARS!!! Yesterday I edited my photos for photography my manually manipulating them with paint etc, I wasn’t happy with them at first, but now I think they’re actually okay.
Today it snowed some more! Me and my Mum went on a snow walk. I love walking with my mum, she’s pretty radical.
I’ve just ranted for like two hours (to myself) about how I’ve been forced into a system that I never wanted to be apart of, how school is ultimately pointless and how I have no choice on how to live my life. It’s a hard not life, but I’ve just listened to some fantastic tunes and danced around for a bit and I feel much better.
You have been saved from the angsty, teenage rant. Congratulations.
Also I made a post today about my future in an interesting and creative way (how cool) so you should check that out here, shameless spon because I’m pretty proud of it.
If you ever feel sad just put on your favourite song, nap and then dance really aggressively. It will make you feel 100% better.
I’m not depressed because I can still dance.
Thank you so much for reading,